Ultimate Literature List

Note: unranked. Ignore the ranking.
Adult books

1. 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear by Walter Moers
2. The Alchemaster's Apprentice by Walter Moers
3. City of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers
4. Rumo's Miraculous Adventures by Walter Moers (lets just put all his books here)
5. Carnival by Rawi Hage
6. Cockroach by Rawi Hage (slightly too depressing for my taste but still an excellent read)
7. Perfume by Patrick Susskind
8. The Enchantress Of Florence by Salman Rushdie
9. Sputnik Sweetheart Haruki Murakami
10. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
11. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
12. The Belly of Paris Emile Zola
13. Candide by Voltaire
14. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
15. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon
16. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
17. Heart Of A Dog Mikhail Bulgakov
18. Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix
19. Mr Penumbra's 24-hour bookstore by Robin Sloan
20. A Confederacy Of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
21. The Little Old Lady who Broke All The Rules by Catharina Ingelman-Sunderberg
22. Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell by Susanna Clark
23. Apt Pupil by Stephen King
24. My Uncle Oswald by Roald Dahl
25. Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
26. Interview With A Vampire by Anne Rice
27. Dracula by Bram Stoker (duh)
28. Grotesque by Natsuo Kirino (iffy about whether this should be here because I only liked certain parts)
29. Struck By Lightning by Carson Philips
30. The Book Of Lost Things by John Connolly
31. The Extraordinary Journey of A Fakir Who Got Trapped In An Ikea Wardrobe by Romain Puertolas
32. The Auschwitz Violin by Maria Àngels Anglada
33. Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane (prepare to be mentally disturbed and mindfucked)
34. Easy Money by Jens Lapidus
35. The Devil of Nanking by Mo Hayder
36. Farewell Waltz by Milan Kundera
37. A Year in The Merde (series) by Stephen Clarke
38. The Ice Cream Queen Of Orchard Street by Susan Jane Gilman
39. Lolita by Valdimir Nabokov
40. The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom
41. White Noise by Don Delilo
42. Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks
43. Company of Liars Karen Maitland
44. The Pillow Book Of The Flower Samurai by Barbara Lazar
45. Doughnut by Tom Holt
46. Wasp Factory by Iain Banks (disturbing as hell)
47. Dream of Ding Village by Yan Lianke
48. essentially every short story by Roald Dahl
49. Essentially every written work of H.P. Lovecraft (inclusive of his short stories like The White Ship and The Tomb)
50. The Vanishing Witch by Karen Maitland
51. Aurelia by Gerard de Neval (cool bu yes disturbing cuz the author is actually nuts)
52. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
53. La Dame Aux Camelias by Alexandre Dumas\
54. The Non-existent Knight (novella) by Italo Calvino
55. The Cloven Viscount (novella) by Italo Calvino
56. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe (lol)
57. Emily The Strange (series), various authors
58. Fear Itself by Jonathan Nasaw
59. Gods Without Men by Hari Kunzru
60. The History Of The Eye by Georges Bataille (fucking traumatising)
61. The Carrie diaries by Candace Bushnell
62. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling (DUHH)
63. The Immortals After Dark series by Kresley Cole (ESPECIALLY the following: Lothaire, No Rest for the Wicked, Wicked Deeds On A Winter's Night, Dark Needs At Night Edge, Kiss Of A Demon King, Macrieve)
64. Jeeves and Wooster by P. G. Wodehouse (series)

THAT'S RIGHT. IF I'M EVER GONNA READ ROMANCE IT HAS TO CONTAIN AN EXCELLENT AND COMPLEX (FANTASY) STORYLINE, VIOLENCE/GORE, SASSY WIT, WELL-WRITTEN SEX SCENES (IF ANY), ACTUALLY ADMIRABLE CHARACTERS, AND WARRANTED ANGST. And of course, great author style.

Also, hot damn Sebastian Wroth.
And why didn't any other author think of having a werewolf clan in Scotland? Scotland is an excellent setting to meet ALL their wolfy needs. From the climate, to the landscape, food and folklore. What's better than playful, sly, sexy (and very buff) werewolf dudes? Playful sly sexy buff werewolf dudes WITH A SCOTTISH ACCENT. IT'S SO CUTE. And it's even better when the ballsy female protagonists make fun of it to piss them off.

Young Adult books (rare gems)

1. The Monstrumologist (series) by Rick Yancey
2. The Marvelous Adventures of Fanboy and Gothgirl by Barry Lyga
3. Fade To Blue by Sean Beaudoin
4. Malice (duology) by Chris Wooding
5. Evil Genius (trilogy) by Catherine Jinks
6. The Reformed Vampire Support Group by Catherine Jinks (god bless this woman)
7. The Wager by Donna Jo Napoli
8. Artemis Fowl (series) by Eoin Colfer
9. Chronicles of Vladimir Todd (Series) by Zac Brewer
10. Bleeding Violets by Dia Reeves
11. Gossip Girl by Cecily Von Ziegesar

Children's books

1. A Wild Ride Through The Night by Walter Moers
2. Haroun and The Sea of Stories by Salman Rushdie
3. Goosebumps (series) by R. L. Stine
4. essentially any book written by Roald Dahl (for instance, The Witches, George's Marvellous Medicine, The Twits, The Giraffe the pelly and me, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, Matilda)
5. Geronimo Stilton by Elisabetta Dami

Poems, plays, epics

1. Full Woman, Fleshly Apple, Hot Moon by Pablo Neruda
2. Ode to Age by Pablo Neruda
3. Ode to Hope by Pablo Neruda
4. Ode to The Cat by Pablo Neruda
5. Ode to Tomatoes by Pablo Neruda
6. Ode to the Lemon by Pablo Neruda
7. Ode to the Watermelon by Pablo Neruda
8. Ode to the Onion by Pablo Neruda
9. Ode to the Book by Pablo Neruda
10. Ode to Wine by PAblo Neruda
11. Ode to the Artichoke by Pablo Neruda
12. Ode to my socks by Pablo Neruda
13. Ode to Salt by Pablo Neruda
14. If you Forget Me by PAblo Neruda
15. Magellanic Penguin by Pablo Neruda
16. Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda
17. Sonnet XIII: The light that rises from your feet to your hair by Pablo Neruda
18. Leave me a place Underground by Pablo Neruda
19. Enigmas by PAblo Neruda
20. The Fear by Pablo Neruda
21. The United Fruit co. by Pablo Neruda
22. The Infinite Shining Heavens by Robert Louis Stvenson
23. The Celestial Surgeon by Robert Louis Stvenson
24. Fear Not, Dear Friend by Robert Louis Stvenson
25. My Bed Is A Boat by Robert Louis Stvenson
26. Picture Books In Winter by Robery Louis Stvenson
27. Libertatis Sacra Fames, Theoretikos by Oscar Wilde
28. Requiescat by Oscar Wilde 
29. E Tenebris by Oscar Wilde
30. In the Gold Room: A Harmony by Oscar Wilde
31. The Fourth Movement (epic) by Oscar Wilde
32. The Harlot's House by Oscar Wilde
33. Humanitad (epic) by Oscar Wilde
34. Mad Girl's Love Song by Silvia Plath
35. Lorca's selected poems (what is with Spanish poets how do they compose poems so beautifully? It's all written in my secret journal that is so well hidden I can't find it anymore)
36. Tender Delirium (poetry book) by Tania Del Rosario
37. The Duchess Of Malfi by John Webster (lol)
38. Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams (lol)
39. Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare
40. Hamlet by Shakespeare
41. The Tempest by Shakespeare

Watermelons Watermelons Watermelons

I feel like I should explain the title.

I have discovered that scooping out watermelons with an ice cream scoop to form lil watermelon balls is actually a thing.

THAT...IS.....ADORABLE. HOLY SHIT.
And apparently they're great dunked in vodka. Oooooh yes.

I think watermelons are adorable. They're juicy and sweet and their colour scheme is so bright and summery. And if it weren't for the weird mushy texture, watermelons would've been my favourite fruit.

A lot of stuff's been happening and I feel the need to actually start writing about them before everything starts accumulating and I'd go back to feeling too overwhelmed to actually write anything. First things first: I've made up with Fairy. Well it turns out she's been reading my blog this whole time and she read that post and she finally decided to reply my goddamn messages and apologize before the whole friendship's lost for real. I feel this really gratuitous sense of smugness when I found out that her friends scolded her for not talking it out. Like my smugness could rival my Twitter profile:

.....Anyway. Turns out it was a culmination of stress and the fact that she felt underappreciated because I don't make the effort to talk to her.  I guess to a lot of my friends (and sometimes, boyfriend) I can come across as really cold and distant, since I rarely talk to them. Online at least.

AAAAAAARGH GODDAMMIT I'M NOT ACTUALLY A COLD AND DISTANT PERSON it's just that I rarely have anything to say and it's not in my nature to talk a lot. Conversations come to me waaay more easily in real life. ; - ; And I don't have a lot of things to talk about since I don't share any common interests with most of the people I'm friends with. I'm not sure how much people would appreciate me going in raptures about this G-R-E-A-T fanfiction I've been reading (usually M-rated), or me rambling about makeup and trashy beauty gurus, or the current books I'm reading. Or the books I like. Or me grumbling about stuff I need to learn or buy for making my jewelry. I'M SERIOUSLY THE MOST BORING PERSON EVER.

It's ok. ; - ; I'll try. For real. Not just for Fairy but for everyone else I talk to. IF ANYONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT ANY OF THE STUFF I MENTIONED ABOVE, I'D GLADLY DO IT. WITH A LOT OF PLEASURE.

IF PEOPLE WANT ME TO TALK TO THEM ON A REGULAR BASIS, THIS IS THE TRASH THEY'LL BE HEARING.

List of fanfiction I'm obsessing about at the moment (all Miraculous Ladybug):
*The Ladybugs And The Bees (M-rated, though there hasn't been anything further than 2nd base, as of yet)
*Summer Heat (M-rated. Also great.)
*Satisfaction Brought It Back (M-rated. DAAAMN this one's kinky. Alternate, non-magical universe where both Adrien and Marinette reconnect with each other years after graduating on an S&M/Bondage kink website. IT'S SO WELL WRITTEN THOUGH. FUCK I think I have a crush on the author)
*The Weight of Jade (PG. Everyone's a cinnamon roll. And it's great. All of The Last Pilot's works are great.)

Fanfiction-related stuff (still Miraculous Ladybug but I'm probably gonna throw in Hetalia and MAYBE OPM, if I can get their character down)
*Me starting up and A03 account to write indulgent fanfiction but fantastically failing because I can't get Adrien and Marinette to sin because they're too pure and good to do anything remotely depraved. They're supposed to be having kinky sex while baking but they ended up trading baking puns and running around the kitchen because they had a food fight. I am so bad at this. IT'S ALL JUST FLUFF WHERE IS THE SIN I THOUGHT I HAD THIS DOWN I'M SO UPSET.

*Also I am M.A.Biscuit so feel free to check me out. Not that there's anything to check out since I HAVENT POSTED ANYTHING BECAUSE I'M WEAK AND USELESS.

Dumb inapproapriate things
*Did you know that sex toys are stupidly expensive in my country? Like a vibrator can cost up to a few hundred dollars. I could get a laptop with a few hundred dollars. I could accompany Turban on his mountaineering trips for a few hundred dollars. I could buy an expensive branded lolita dress for a few hundred dollars. I could get my hair professionally dyed for a few hundred dollars. No wonder desperate people like that girl from that girl's school resorted to using a test tube for a dildo. She subsequently had to be sent to the hospital. Yowch. -cough- not that I wanted to buy sex toys. It was just a thought. This just means that even if I wanted to, there's no way in hell I could.

*Those wooden penises I mistook for dildos that were everywhere in Bali are actually charms believed to enhance fertility. I'm ignorant and stupid. WELL SOOOORRY. SOME OF THEM HAD HANDLES ON THE ENDS WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO THINK

*I'm 100% convinced that if Freud were to psychoanalyze my writings and my kokology test results, he'd say that I have something fucked up like "latent sadism" or "hidden polyamorous inclinations" or maybe even bestiality or something. I remember this one Kokology test I took, where you're asked to draw your ideal roller coaster track and the more convoluted and hardcore it was...the more you were sexually....ahem.
Needless to say, mine looked like a bowl of spaghetti:

....yeap.
BUT I'M NOT FUCKED UP, I'M PRETTY SURE I'M NORMAL. Sexually, anyway. I HAVE NORMAL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR. COME ON I'M PRETTY SURE I'M LIKE A NUN COMPARED TO THEM WHITE HOES I SEE ON TWITTER AND INSTAGRAM. I DON'T EVEN SEND NUDES AND I HAVE A SMALL BUTT I'M A WHITE GUY'S NIGHTMARE.

I SOOO SHOULDN'T LET KOKOLOGY TEST RESULTS GET TO ME. IT'S JUST A STUPID QUIZ THING I SHOULDN'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.

Existing Anxieties:
*Not making it into NTU and having to tell my parents I want to be a barista and argue with them. I'm anticipating another surprise sleepover. At least I like sleepovers, and I have Fairy again.

*My mint chocoberry skirt going out of stock on Bodyline, because they restock very very sporadically, if ever. So if this runs out of stock I may never be able to get my hands on it. Tall Lolita said she'd help me buy it and I can pay her later but it's been weeks and she hasn't done it because she's kinda unreliable about that and I'm increasingly antsy but I don't feel like I have a right to chase her since I'm literally borrowing money from her.

*The Soufflesong blouse I ordered taked 45 days to ship. WHY THE FUCK DOES IT TAKE 45 DAYS??? WHAT EVEN. YOU'RE CHINA AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE FASTER AND WAY MORE EFFICIENT ABOUT THIS. THERE ARE LIKE, AT LEAST 3 OTHER ITEMS I INTEND TO ORDER FROM THEM SO I GUESS THIS MEANS I';; HAVE TO WAIT AN ETERNITY FOR THEM TO ARRIVE TOO.

*More Lolita things I want that's gonna run out of stock. Like that spectacular constellation JSK, and that drape-y sleeved blouse...among other things.

*Not actually achieving my summer bod before summer ends (by summer I'm referring to June) because of my bad health and lack of regular work-outs.

*Not actually making decent polymer clay jewelry by the time summer ends and I have to either go to uni (hopefully) or be a barista. Or work in Famous Amos. They're looking for staff and that looks very tempting at the moment.

Book I'm currently into:

A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole

Introducing Ignatius P. Reilly. The fattest, saltiest and most obnoxious misanthrope you'll ever encounter in New Orleans. I hate him. But he's so amusing that I can't stop reading. Toole has a very unique, wry manner of writing that I've very much taken to. THIS IS GOING ON THE LIST, HELL YES.
Also, the author committed suicide before the book ever got published. His ferocious mom eventually got it published and it won the Pulitzer prize and was critically-acclaimed. Apparently part of the reason Toole committed suicide was because he was rejected.

...Let's hope I don't get inspired to do the same if I get rejected from NTU. JUST KIDDING I'LL GO BE A BARISTA OR SMTH. HA HA HA. HAAAA.

Anyway. Linked to what I just talked about, much of the past 2 weeks has been spent agonizing over my appeal. Some may call me passive. Others who know me may call me stupidly prideful. I just refused to ask anybody for help and OM had to text The Teacher who was nice enough to actually attempt consoling me. It's ok a long screaming Fall Out Boy session more or less fixed that. She was helping me with the appeal, on and off, but her replies were sparse and infrequent so OM wanted to ask other teachers for help as well. I hate asking people for help. And the only thing worse than asking people for help is asking people I'm not close to for help. OM was so frustrated because he was dragging my ass around school one of those days and I refused to ask his teacher. I eventually caved and got my CCA teacher, who ended up not really knowing anything about appeals anyway so he wasn't very helpful. I feel kinda bad that he had to put up with the extremely stressed and angsty me, but honestly, he was doing the opposite of calming me down so...I don't know what he was expecting from a faithless pessimistic individual who was on the verge of the mental breakdown. I had a shit ton of problems writing my appeal, and there were several moments where I panicked because Fairy showed me her friend's appeal and it was COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM MINE. WE TALK ABOUT COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS. SHIT. BUT IT'S ALL GOOD. I CAN TRUST THE TEACHER'S DIRECTIONS, RIGHT??? I CAN TRUST MY  OLD AND EXPERIENCED AND PASSIONATE LIT TUTOR WHO DOESN'T HATE ME TO GET MY ASS TO UNIVERSITY, because she DID actually email the head prof OMFG. I WANNA READ THE EMAIL. BUT I OBVIOUSLY CAN'T. ):

Now that I've submitted everything, though, I'm trying not to think about that. I'm just gonna keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. AT LEAST GRANT ME AN INTERVIEW. SHEESH.

ANYWAY. ON TOO LESS POTENTIALLY ANGSTY STUFF, I've submitted the appeal so all is SUPPOSED to be good in my world. But I fail as an adult because I've been NEETing at home, on the internet. And not sleeping or exercising regularly. Or eating properly. To OM's exasperation. Although I HAVE just topped up my supply of instant noodles, so YAY :D. No more boringass bread and crackers.
...How do I live with myself. How is it that I'm turning twenty this year I'm not even functioning properly this is stupid.

IT'S OK. I'VE DECIDED TO BREAK OUT OF THAT CYCLE STARTING NOW. I'M SLEEPING ONCE I'M DONE WITH THIS POST.

OK I'M DONE. HA. IT'S NOT EVEN 2AM YET.

....my standards make me sad.

Update: Post dental surgery trauma

So I just got back from the dentist yesterday and I thought I'd give a little update on how I'm doing. I decided to go out for a good meal with the bae before the surgery. Y'know. Before I can't actually eat any real food for the next few weeks. We went to this really nice Japanese restaurant at the new Robinsons building which was kiiinda expensive but worth the splurge. We talked about books and the general crappiness of modern-day fiction books while munching on gyoza and sipping on genmai tea. I ordered for myself black truffle ramen and seven-spice vinegar gyoza because I was intent on being a full-on hedonist. I regretted ordering the latter because it was practically drowning in chili oil and I was on fire. I wish in a sexy way but no. At least the waitress took pity and gave me a jug of ice water.

Aaaaand as usual I'm a horrible blogger. I ate the food before I even remembered to take a picture.

He was defending asian (or rather, chinese) novels while I was kinda dissing them for being rather repetitive and...emo. I think "angsty" would be a nicer word but "emo" suits. The discussion kinda fell through since he was more familiar with...obscure books that I've never even heard of while I was referring to more well-known authors like Murakami, Banana Yoshimoto, Kazuo Ishiguro, Yan Lianke..etc. It's not like they're bad. They're usually very well-written. I do have several that I love (will post an updated list soon). I just get tired of the repetitiveness of the ideas. Mistakes of the past. Memories. How we can't get over shit. The futility of existence and the monotony of our daily lives. Innate human darkness and how complicated we are. Grief. Death. Blah blah blah. It gets so old. For me anyways. I know that other kinds of literature - be it American or European do repeat these kinda themes but I feel like I see it more in Asian literature than in any other genre. I also feel like the way it's written in is kinda bland. Like, sometimes I can't really distinguish one author from another because their styles have significant overlaps. I love Rawi Hage, Walter Moers and Salman Rushdie because they their stories are very richly woven with and intricate and their style is just...THERE.

Anyway, we had some time before my appointment so we headed to Watsons because I wanted to buy a heavy-duty gel-based moisturizer/essence thing (under the influence of Chizu Saeki). I also need lotion so I'll be buying that soon. I'm trying to take better care of my skin nowadays because I think I should be loving myself better and treating it the way it ought to be treated. Then we headed to Kinokuniya where we spent most of our time arguing about the manga/anime industry because he was defending Sword Art Online, to my great disgust. Apparently, according to him, the novel was rushed and that was why it was shitty and the anime cut out some parts and the creator of SAO is now trying to make up for it by writing a separate SAO series which he claims is "much better" (didn't bother remembering the title). I was almost irritated enough to just storm off there and then because I didn't feel like any of those dumb excuses were justified. If he hadn't eventually admitted that yeah, it was kinda a crappy reason I might have done so.

I swear 80% of our normal conversations are arguments, I don't understand how our relationship even works. Somehow it does.

On the up side, he is attempting to read Walter Moers' books so that we connect better. Which is very endearing. <3 In return I'm downloading Minecraft once I get a laptop so that I can actually understand what the fuck he's talking about.

Where was I. Ah yes. So then we went to the clinic. My dentist was this young and really frank dude called Arthur who proceeded to brief me and assure me that I wouldn't feel pain. Though he stressed that "pain and pressure are 2 different things". Since it was a local anaesthesia, I would be fully conscious so he was going to inform me of every single step he was taking throughout the procedure so that I don't start freaking out if he suddenly does something. Which I both appreciate and don't.

"I will now be drilling into your teeth, pretty vigorously. This will be slightly uncomfortable"

"Just gonna straight up dig here to loosen the tooth. Am using quite a bit of force but everything's cool don't worry"

"I am now giving you an extra shot of anaesthesia here deep in the back of the gums. This might sting a little" (it stung a fuck lot)

"I will now be cracking your teeth into two."

"Ah. This tooth is kinda big and I can't pull it out of the incision I made. I'll have to crack it into three."

The suturing was almost just as traumatic.

He had to administer a higher dosage of anaesthesia, probably because I was freaking out. Can't help my visceral fear of the human body. I CAN'T HELP IT OKAY? AM A WIMP. Take me skydiving any day. The thing about local anaesthesia is that you can't feel pain, but you can feel EVERYTHING ELSE. The digging, the yanking, the drilling and..the...CRACKING. Like cracking a coconut. Or walnut.

The rest of the evening was a nightmare. Apart from feeling and looking like a retard because one side of my face was all puffed up, I couldn't speak properly because of the gauze in my mouth. I felt like I've been over botox-ed. The anaesthetics wore of pretty quickly even though he gave me an additional shot of it just before I left and the pain was downright agonizing. Also I was bleeding really heavily, which worried Arthur a little. Probably something to do with my Thalassaemia. Thinner blood and longer duration to clot. No mood for food. I was just tasting and swallowing my blood the entire night whcih pretty much killed my appetite and it was well past 3am before I got any decent sleep.

To think that I'm going to have to go for round #2, 2 weeks later for the OTHER side of my face.

SOB

April Reads

Current reads:

The Japanese Skincare Revolution by Chizu Saeki

Esteemed aesthetician, Chizu Saeki, shares her beauty and skincare secrets. Well-written, No costly products, just simple everyday routines and some facial massages. I've tried some and I really do feel better. Her skin is ridiculously good for her age. I fully intend to follow her instructions to the bone because my skin really needs help. 

Candide by Voltaire

Offensive to many when it was published. (I was laughing at William Wordsworth's angry comments, it was especially funny to me since I studied WW's poems) It was a while before Voltaire confessed having written it. It's a brilliant philosophical piece of work, and I love the ideas it brings into consideration, and the simplicity of the writing style. I think I've found the book that might just summarize my take on life (though for that it still won't beat Kazantzakis' Zorba The Greek) I do especially love the humour used. Even in the names, for instance the faithful servant Cacambo sounds like "Caca-en-beau" which means to look on the pretty side of shit. "caca" being a childish term for shit. The name suits him, given his optimistic and loyal nature (for now at least, I haven't finished reading it yet). The uber annoying tutor, Pangloss. Pan meaning all, and "gloss" is short for the latin word "glossi" which means tongue. So his name literally means "all talk" and indeed it's pretty much all he does, up until the part where he gets hanged. More on this book once I finish it, I have lots to say :D

Cockroach by Rawi Hage

Another masterpiece from Rawi Hage, though I think I prefer Carnival because it's more whimsical and less...upsetting. This one's dark, depressing and downright disturbing. Hear all the plosives? It's the sound of my heavy heart thudding to the sad beat of life, burdened with the truth that humanity is filth. The main character hates everything I stand for - hedonism and the decision to overlook the worst of things simply because it can't be helped. In this aspect I do empathize with the piano teacher. He bathes in this hatred for humanity. Embraces it. If he had a stable job and good income and a nice standing in society, he might not have turned out the way he did. He did attempt some normalcy when he eventually got a job and some money. He crushed the cockroaches, took a bath and cleaned his house. Straightened his life a little. Which was nice, even though he kinda regressed. It shows more than just the struggles of living as an outsider (he is an immigrant). The situation he placed himself in, while voluntarily done out of (perhaps)love and a sense of justice, ultimately damned him because he ended up murdering someone. It shows how a huge mistake in the past can somehow give way into an even bigger mistake. A huge chain of mistakes. It shows how sometimes certain people simply can't be saved.

*cue sound of implicit coughing*

Anyway, sorry if nothing I'm typing sounds very intelligent. I don't think I've thought about this book as much as I ought to have.

Bel-Ami by Guy de Maupassant

Brilliant from the start to the finish. French high society's obvious obsession with fame, power, sex and money. I marvel at Georges Duroy's (or rather, Du Roy, as he was later named) ambition and cunning. His ascension up the social ladder took far more than just luck and he had the guts (and the looks and charm) to pull it off.

Also I've shipped him and Madame Marelle the minute they met and am therefore unapologetic to all the women he cheated on.