Ultimate Literature List

Note: unranked. Ignore the ranking.
Adult books

1. 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear by Walter Moers
2. The Alchemaster's Apprentice by Walter Moers
3. City of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers
4. Rumo's Miraculous Adventures by Walter Moers (lets just put all his books here)
5. Carnival by Rawi Hage
6. Cockroach by Rawi Hage (slightly too depressing for my taste but still an excellent read)
7. Perfume by Patrick Susskind
8. The Enchantress Of Florence by Salman Rushdie
9. Sputnik Sweetheart Haruki Murakami
10. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
11. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
12. The Belly of Paris Emile Zola
13. Candide by Voltaire
14. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
15. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon
16. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
17. Heart Of A Dog Mikhail Bulgakov
18. Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix
19. Mr Penumbra's 24-hour bookstore by Robin Sloan
20. A Confederacy Of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
21. The Little Old Lady who Broke All The Rules by Catharina Ingelman-Sunderberg
22. Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell by Susanna Clark
23. Apt Pupil by Stephen King
24. My Uncle Oswald by Roald Dahl
25. Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
26. Interview With A Vampire by Anne Rice
27. Dracula by Bram Stoker (duh)
28. Grotesque by Natsuo Kirino (iffy about whether this should be here because I only liked certain parts)
29. Struck By Lightning by Carson Philips
30. The Book Of Lost Things by John Connolly
31. The Extraordinary Journey of A Fakir Who Got Trapped In An Ikea Wardrobe by Romain Puertolas
32. The Auschwitz Violin by Maria Àngels Anglada
33. Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane (prepare to be mentally disturbed and mindfucked)
34. Easy Money by Jens Lapidus
35. The Devil of Nanking by Mo Hayder
36. Farewell Waltz by Milan Kundera
37. A Year in The Merde (series) by Stephen Clarke
38. The Ice Cream Queen Of Orchard Street by Susan Jane Gilman
39. Lolita by Valdimir Nabokov
40. The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom
41. White Noise by Don Delilo
42. Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks
43. Company of Liars Karen Maitland
44. The Pillow Book Of The Flower Samurai by Barbara Lazar
45. Doughnut by Tom Holt
46. Wasp Factory by Iain Banks (disturbing as hell)
47. Dream of Ding Village by Yan Lianke
48. essentially every short story by Roald Dahl
49. Essentially every written work of H.P. Lovecraft (inclusive of his short stories like The White Ship and The Tomb)
50. The Vanishing Witch by Karen Maitland
51. Aurelia by Gerard de Neval (cool bu yes disturbing cuz the author is actually nuts)
52. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
53. La Dame Aux Camelias by Alexandre Dumas\
54. The Non-existent Knight (novella) by Italo Calvino
55. The Cloven Viscount (novella) by Italo Calvino
56. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe (lol)
57. Emily The Strange (series), various authors
58. Fear Itself by Jonathan Nasaw
59. Gods Without Men by Hari Kunzru
60. The History Of The Eye by Georges Bataille (fucking traumatising)
61. The Carrie diaries by Candace Bushnell
62. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling (DUHH)
63. The Immortals After Dark series by Kresley Cole (ESPECIALLY the following: Lothaire, No Rest for the Wicked, Wicked Deeds On A Winter's Night, Dark Needs At Night Edge, Kiss Of A Demon King, Macrieve)
64. Jeeves and Wooster by P. G. Wodehouse (series)

THAT'S RIGHT. IF I'M EVER GONNA READ ROMANCE IT HAS TO CONTAIN AN EXCELLENT AND COMPLEX (FANTASY) STORYLINE, VIOLENCE/GORE, SASSY WIT, WELL-WRITTEN SEX SCENES (IF ANY), ACTUALLY ADMIRABLE CHARACTERS, AND WARRANTED ANGST. And of course, great author style.

Also, hot damn Sebastian Wroth.
And why didn't any other author think of having a werewolf clan in Scotland? Scotland is an excellent setting to meet ALL their wolfy needs. From the climate, to the landscape, food and folklore. What's better than playful, sly, sexy (and very buff) werewolf dudes? Playful sly sexy buff werewolf dudes WITH A SCOTTISH ACCENT. IT'S SO CUTE. And it's even better when the ballsy female protagonists make fun of it to piss them off.

Young Adult books (rare gems)

1. The Monstrumologist (series) by Rick Yancey
2. The Marvelous Adventures of Fanboy and Gothgirl by Barry Lyga
3. Fade To Blue by Sean Beaudoin
4. Malice (duology) by Chris Wooding
5. Evil Genius (trilogy) by Catherine Jinks
6. The Reformed Vampire Support Group by Catherine Jinks (god bless this woman)
7. The Wager by Donna Jo Napoli
8. Artemis Fowl (series) by Eoin Colfer
9. Chronicles of Vladimir Todd (Series) by Zac Brewer
10. Bleeding Violets by Dia Reeves
11. Gossip Girl by Cecily Von Ziegesar

Children's books

1. A Wild Ride Through The Night by Walter Moers
2. Haroun and The Sea of Stories by Salman Rushdie
3. Goosebumps (series) by R. L. Stine
4. essentially any book written by Roald Dahl (for instance, The Witches, George's Marvellous Medicine, The Twits, The Giraffe the pelly and me, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, Matilda)
5. Geronimo Stilton by Elisabetta Dami

Poems, plays, epics

1. Full Woman, Fleshly Apple, Hot Moon by Pablo Neruda
2. Ode to Age by Pablo Neruda
3. Ode to Hope by Pablo Neruda
4. Ode to The Cat by Pablo Neruda
5. Ode to Tomatoes by Pablo Neruda
6. Ode to the Lemon by Pablo Neruda
7. Ode to the Watermelon by Pablo Neruda
8. Ode to the Onion by Pablo Neruda
9. Ode to the Book by Pablo Neruda
10. Ode to Wine by PAblo Neruda
11. Ode to the Artichoke by Pablo Neruda
12. Ode to my socks by Pablo Neruda
13. Ode to Salt by Pablo Neruda
14. If you Forget Me by PAblo Neruda
15. Magellanic Penguin by Pablo Neruda
16. Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda
17. Sonnet XIII: The light that rises from your feet to your hair by Pablo Neruda
18. Leave me a place Underground by Pablo Neruda
19. Enigmas by PAblo Neruda
20. The Fear by Pablo Neruda
21. The United Fruit co. by Pablo Neruda
22. The Infinite Shining Heavens by Robert Louis Stvenson
23. The Celestial Surgeon by Robert Louis Stvenson
24. Fear Not, Dear Friend by Robert Louis Stvenson
25. My Bed Is A Boat by Robert Louis Stvenson
26. Picture Books In Winter by Robery Louis Stvenson
27. Libertatis Sacra Fames, Theoretikos by Oscar Wilde
28. Requiescat by Oscar Wilde 
29. E Tenebris by Oscar Wilde
30. In the Gold Room: A Harmony by Oscar Wilde
31. The Fourth Movement (epic) by Oscar Wilde
32. The Harlot's House by Oscar Wilde
33. Humanitad (epic) by Oscar Wilde
34. Mad Girl's Love Song by Silvia Plath
35. Lorca's selected poems (what is with Spanish poets how do they compose poems so beautifully? It's all written in my secret journal that is so well hidden I can't find it anymore)
36. Tender Delirium (poetry book) by Tania Del Rosario
37. The Duchess Of Malfi by John Webster (lol)
38. Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams (lol)
39. Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare
40. Hamlet by Shakespeare
41. The Tempest by Shakespeare