yes, you read right. it is i, smol confused avocado. i am definitely not a hijacker who was permitted to write up a dumb post for this blog. i am also definitely not the mermaid daughter. nooooooooo.
did you know that according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. its wings are too small to get its little fat body off the ground. the bee, of course, flies anyway, because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
please don't sue me for copyright, it's a meme.
fun fact, the bee movie is my most watched movie of all time. mainly because it was the only movie cd that my family owned that was: 1) family-friendly, 2) didn't have all that ridiculous dvd bullshit; it went straight to the start of the movie. despite that, i still get confused over the plot.
yes, i am still the smol confused avocado. if this fact doesn't coincide with what you know about me, it is because i am confused. like, my name literally says that. don't give me shit for it, you've been warned.
also if you still think i am the mermaid daughter, you would be very wrong, my good sir, because i am smol, confused and an avocado.
why am i an avocado? frankly, i often ask myself that question. was i born this way? did i grow on a lovingly pruned branch and somehow forgot to absorb as many nutrients as i could, resulting in my smolness? did i apparate out of thin air? am i merely a human masquerading as a green fruit and in reality i am just another person in a sea of persons and am not actually the savoury pistachio-tinted deliciousness that is an avocado? am i actually in fact a mermaid and a daughter???
OHGODOHGODOHGODWHOAMI
did you know that according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. its wings are too small to get its little fat body off the ground. the bee, of course, flies anyway, because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
please don't sue me for copyright, it's a meme.
fun fact, the bee movie is my most watched movie of all time. mainly because it was the only movie cd that my family owned that was: 1) family-friendly, 2) didn't have all that ridiculous dvd bullshit; it went straight to the start of the movie. despite that, i still get confused over the plot.
yes, i am still the smol confused avocado. if this fact doesn't coincide with what you know about me, it is because i am confused. like, my name literally says that. don't give me shit for it, you've been warned.
also if you still think i am the mermaid daughter, you would be very wrong, my good sir, because i am smol, confused and an avocado.
why am i an avocado? frankly, i often ask myself that question. was i born this way? did i grow on a lovingly pruned branch and somehow forgot to absorb as many nutrients as i could, resulting in my smolness? did i apparate out of thin air? am i merely a human masquerading as a green fruit and in reality i am just another person in a sea of persons and am not actually the savoury pistachio-tinted deliciousness that is an avocado? am i actually in fact a mermaid and a daughter???
OHGODOHGODOHGODWHOAMI
That's actually disgusting. Like. That's actually horribly disgusting. I cannot emphasise how painful it was to read that. My eyes burn. Oh but keep the bad memes coming they're actually "fun" to read even though I'm currently blinded.
ReplyDeleteHey, OM. It's me, MD, and I'm here to school your ass on what I did.
Delete1. Yes, I wrote the entire thing, in one go. The same person. Thank you for that backhanded compliment.
2. I didn't write this to please anyone, not even you. I wrote it because The Great Smol Avocado bestowed upon me the honour of inscribing my words on the Holy Book that is her blog. (Shocker!!!!)
It was of your own volition that you decided to read her blog. And it was my choice to shitpost. And if I want to waste my precious chance to speak out on her blog to post only the sweetest, dankest of bee movie Menes, well, god damn, it's my loss.
She let me write a post because she thought it would be a good bit of fun. Don't come in waving your super soaker full of cat piss and cramp my flow, capiche?
Sincerely yours, MD
P.S.: Suck a dick.