In ref. to title: I really need that Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab perfume in that name. It's particularly symbolic since he is apparently the divine embodiment of change, through conflict. (read the next line in a booming voice) Just as I have emerged from the ashes that are but the charred remnants of the past semesters and its horrific events, I shall once again emerge from this semester triumphant.
Granted, I have a few things I have not straightened out. I am still wary of the male sex (though this has been something that's been built in me ever since young so). I have yet to be fully trusting. Have I forgiven my scumbag of an ex? Nope (no reason to, for someone as arrogant and un-remorseful as him tbh). Am I able to stop being paranoid about The Bae ™'s psycho ex? Nope (but that's for good reason). Am I finally over all the bullshit that's been happening in Sem 1? Well, more or less. I still disapprove of how those matters were dealt with, but I'm glad that it's over. Do I still let myself be trampled on in group projects? Hell nah. Am I more confrontational, open and less secretive? Yes. Have I stopped being a pathological liar? Yes. Have I learnt to value myself more and to take no bullshit? Yeap you bet I fucking did. I hit a new low on that day last year. That was my very lowest point. And I have resolved to never go through that ever again.
Going to Russia helped. Being away from everyone, being on my own for once, and having to spend some quality time with myself helped. Meeting people from all over the world, all with their own stories to tell, and seeing for myself how they lived, helped. I was also finally able to indulge in some solo travel - something I've been wanting to do for ages, and I loved it. I really want to do it again, someday. Maybe to Iceland or Patagonia (though the former's probably much safer).
I learned that I'm not as antisocial or as hermit-like as I'd like to think myself to be, and that I do enjoy the company of people. Albeit very selectively.
I can't remember the exact details about my previous post, and I'm too lazy to read it. I vaguely remember something about VISA and telling my ex to fuck off (as per usual. Though he has been doing that nowadays, thankfully. I'm getting less and less of his shitty emails). I should continue where I've left off.
It might be ironic that it is in a small and conservative city in Siberia/Russia that I've broadened my view of the world. But such has been the case. Also, to this day, I miss how cheap food and alcohol is there. And I do miss the friends I've made, a little. Once I was back in Singapore, I was immediately plunged back into university life, but surrounded, and welcomed back, by loved ones. My 21st passed rather uneventfully, probably because I was still exhausted, and because I have never been into big, grandiose celebrations anyway. Those things intimidate me. Give me good food, excellent company and I'm pretty much set. I had ribs with my favourite people, and I got amazing gifts (I'd recount that here but that feels really narcissistic).
This semester's been more stressful than the previous one because of literature and creative writing, but I'm more or less managing.
My procrastination's getting pretty bad though.
Presently, I'm writing a sci-fi play about what happens when our galaxy inevitably collides with the Andromeda galaxy. It's pretty difficult though, but I am considering using that for creative writing. Assuming I can straighten the whole thing out.
Granted, I have a few things I have not straightened out. I am still wary of the male sex (though this has been something that's been built in me ever since young so). I have yet to be fully trusting. Have I forgiven my scumbag of an ex? Nope (no reason to, for someone as arrogant and un-remorseful as him tbh). Am I able to stop being paranoid about The Bae ™'s psycho ex? Nope (but that's for good reason). Am I finally over all the bullshit that's been happening in Sem 1? Well, more or less. I still disapprove of how those matters were dealt with, but I'm glad that it's over. Do I still let myself be trampled on in group projects? Hell nah. Am I more confrontational, open and less secretive? Yes. Have I stopped being a pathological liar? Yes. Have I learnt to value myself more and to take no bullshit? Yeap you bet I fucking did. I hit a new low on that day last year. That was my very lowest point. And I have resolved to never go through that ever again.
Going to Russia helped. Being away from everyone, being on my own for once, and having to spend some quality time with myself helped. Meeting people from all over the world, all with their own stories to tell, and seeing for myself how they lived, helped. I was also finally able to indulge in some solo travel - something I've been wanting to do for ages, and I loved it. I really want to do it again, someday. Maybe to Iceland or Patagonia (though the former's probably much safer).
I learned that I'm not as antisocial or as hermit-like as I'd like to think myself to be, and that I do enjoy the company of people. Albeit very selectively.
I can't remember the exact details about my previous post, and I'm too lazy to read it. I vaguely remember something about VISA and telling my ex to fuck off (as per usual. Though he has been doing that nowadays, thankfully. I'm getting less and less of his shitty emails). I should continue where I've left off.
It might be ironic that it is in a small and conservative city in Siberia/Russia that I've broadened my view of the world. But such has been the case. Also, to this day, I miss how cheap food and alcohol is there. And I do miss the friends I've made, a little. Once I was back in Singapore, I was immediately plunged back into university life, but surrounded, and welcomed back, by loved ones. My 21st passed rather uneventfully, probably because I was still exhausted, and because I have never been into big, grandiose celebrations anyway. Those things intimidate me. Give me good food, excellent company and I'm pretty much set. I had ribs with my favourite people, and I got amazing gifts (I'd recount that here but that feels really narcissistic).
This semester's been more stressful than the previous one because of literature and creative writing, but I'm more or less managing.
My procrastination's getting pretty bad though.
Presently, I'm writing a sci-fi play about what happens when our galaxy inevitably collides with the Andromeda galaxy. It's pretty difficult though, but I am considering using that for creative writing. Assuming I can straighten the whole thing out.
